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STDs (Expert Forum)
Big Dilema
Answered by
University of Washington
Seattle - WA
This forum is for questions and support regarding STD issues such as: Chlamydia, Crabs (pubic lice scabies), Gonorrhea, Hepatitis (viral), Herpes, HPV, Molluscum Contagiosum, PID, Rectal Infections, Syphilis, Trichomoniasis, Warts, Yeast Infection.All questions will be answered by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D. or Edward W Hook, MD.
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Big Dilema
by worriedmansick, Mar 27, 2007 12:00AM
Dr,
I’m in quite a mess right now and the stress is eating me alive. I have been with my current girlfriend for almost a year now and we are madly in love, have talked about getting engaged soon. My problem is that I had genital warts before we started dating. I went on your advice and others with the 6 months without warts, the virus should have cleared and I was not obligated to tell her about my past infection. I went to the Dr. last week and he said I had a wart, it was tiny, naked to the eye. I feel like such a despicable person because I have probably passed this on to my gf. Now I don’t know what to do. Obviously I need to tell her about the wart so she can get herself checked out, but if I tell her I knew before she would disown me for good. This has led to some sleepless nights and much stress. I’m so scared because I love her so much and want to raise a family with her someday. I’m also very close with her family and I think they would disown me as well. I feel like this news could kill us. Please give me some advice on this topic, I would greatly appreciate it, what should I do? We have a long distance relationship and I want to tell her as soon as possible. Should I do it over the phone or in person?
I’m in quite a mess right now and the stress is eating me alive. I have been with my current girlfriend for almost a year now and we are madly in love, have talked about getting engaged soon. My problem is that I had genital warts before we started dating. I went on your advice and others with the 6 months without warts, the virus should have cleared and I was not obligated to tell her about my past infection. I went to the Dr. last week and he said I had a wart, it was tiny, naked to the eye. I feel like such a despicable person because I have probably passed this on to my gf. Now I don’t know what to do. Obviously I need to tell her about the wart so she can get herself checked out, but if I tell her I knew before she would disown me for good. This has led to some sleepless nights and much stress. I’m so scared because I love her so much and want to raise a family with her someday. I’m also very close with her family and I think they would disown me as well. I feel like this news could kill us. Please give me some advice on this topic, I would greatly appreciate it, what should I do? We have a long distance relationship and I want to tell her as soon as possible. Should I do it over the phone or in person?
Doctor's Answer
by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D., Mar 27, 2007 12:00AM
, Mar 27, 2007 12:00AM
I can only help with medical facts; your main issue is a relationship problem, not my expertise. I will just say that you behaved responsibly to the best of your ability. If your partner cares about you, she should understand. How you inform her is entirely up to you. You might consider posting your question to Dr. Schwartz on the sexuality and relationships forum.
From a medical perspective, indeed your partner should be examined. But you don't know whether you have infected your partner, or will. Perhaps most important, remember that genital warts are by and large an inconvenience, not a serious health threat.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
From a medical perspective, indeed your partner should be examined. But you don't know whether you have infected your partner, or will. Perhaps most important, remember that genital warts are by and large an inconvenience, not a serious health threat.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
I guess if she can't except me for it, then I might not be with the right person, correct? Also, just out of curiosity is it VERY RARE that they can be passed on to babies and is it only in the throat or genitals as well? Thank You
P.S. I am not a doctor and this is only my understanding based on what I have read here and elsewhere.
Would you agree with englishman? Can you answer my other posted question from the other day, thx.
Englishman has it right. When HPV or warts appear in a couple, it is almost never worth the effort to try to figure out who infected whom and when. Almost everybody gets genital HPV somewhere along the line, and such efforts generally are a waste of time and emotional energy. This business is not nearly as big a deal as you are making it.
I won't have any further comments.